One of the biggest mistakes people do right when they first get engaged is rush out and contact a bunch of people and ask them to be a part of their wedding party. Hold up! Put the phone down! Step away from the emails you’re typing! Do not rush!
I’m going to say that again, DO NOT RUSH THIS DECISION! You are still on the “oh my god I’m engaged.” High! Its understandable but next thing you know you’ve got your babysitter from fifteen years ago and your dog groomer standing up there with you on the big day. It sounds selfish but every person standing up there with you should serve a purpose to you. If you have someone super organized in your life that can keep you on track, great! If you have that person who is the support you need every day in your life, awesome!
Think critically, start with the “have to haves”. At the bare minimum, you need someone there to witness and sign your marriage license so the whole thing is legal. I am not going to tell you statistics and say this is how many people should be in your wedding party, no more no less. I have seen 1 and I have seen up to (and I kid you not) 25 or higher. I will say this; you absolutely do not need 25+ people standing up there with you. If you are into symmetry remember, if there are 25 people on one side, that’s means there are 25 people on the other side. Doing some quick math here but including you and your partner that is 52 people standing up at the altar. With that many people in the bridal party, who is sitting and watching you get married?!
Believe me when I say things will be a lot easier for you later if you keep the amount of people to who you really need. I know what you’re thinking, “But what if all those people mean something to me and I want them to be a part of my big day?!” Honey, listen, there are so many other ways of being involved. You got a rowdy group of friends who are always the life of the party wherever they go? Ask them to plan you the best bachelor/bachelorette party! Have super creative people in your life? Ask if you can use their services and help with invitations or centerpieces. Give people shout outs anytime you make a speech! Put on a slideshow and have it running all night; jammed packed with pictures of you and your crew from way back set to the tunes of all your childhood favs. Get them gifts, like having the same jewelry as your bridal party so they feel included. Believe me there are ways. At the end of the day, if the love they have for you is real it won’t matter that they are not in the wedding party because they will be there with you on your special day!
Everyone’s situation is also different, do not hold it against someone if you ask them to be a part of your wedding party and they say no. Weddings are expensive and some people cannot afford everything that comes along with helping you get married. Location, career, family is all factors that could come into play. Just as you’ve chosen to get married, people can choose whether or not they can be a part of such a big adventure. If you choose too early you run the risk of being stuck with people you don’t want, or having to swap people out and that is just awkward for everyone!
Lead Event Coordinator